I am now a Freshman at my highschool. God, have I been dreading this day forever. Today, was my first day. Just like I feared, I have no classes with anyone I really talk to. But I might be getting my schedule changed, so I don't know. Finding my classes wasn't as hard as I thought, but through the mad rush of other students, it's still kinda confusing. Well I have been thinking for the past couple of days exactly what makes me miss the people that I miss, meaning my friends. In other words, what is it about them that makes them so much different from everyone else I know? I could write a three hundred page novel on all the things I could think of. But I plan on just sticking to a few paragraphs. I have many friends, some close friends, few best friends, and one person that means more to me than anything else in the world.
Shawn Michael McNeil:
Shawn is, what keeps me going everyday. He is my one and only true friend, who has been with me through everything. We first met maybe back in either 3rd or 4th grade. We were pretty good friends at the time, but then time went on and we sort of stopped talking. We met again in middle school, but didn't really talk till 8th grade, and I'm so happy that we started talking again. He is one of those people that you feel like you've known your entire life. Now, we are closer than ever and I couldn't ask for anything better. He's there for me when I need him the most. He never gets me mad. And the few times he does, I get over it real fast because I can't stay mad at him. That's just impossible for me to do. I know all over my myspace and stuff it says things about him and some of the stuff I feel about him, which is all true of course, but I am writing now on LiveJournal how much he truly means to me, with all of my heart. I can honestly say that I would never know what it truly feels like to be happy if he wasn't in my life. He means the world to me, and so much more. No one understands me like he does. And he listens, which is a biggie for me. I can have serious conversations with him, or we can just talk about something really stupid. I love him more than I could ever say, type, or even express. I don't know where I would be without him. And he really is, My only true best Friend<3
Laura Nicole True:
Hehe, my little spazz for a friend. Let me tell you, she is definetly one of a kind. She's very odd, but in a good way. She's kinda just like me. I find it interesting that her "step mom" Susan and my mom are like party buddies who go and get drunk on a regular basis. But it's really really fun. Well, me and Laura met in 6th grade, very beginning if middle school. Me, her, and Megan all played the Saxophone and we were young and stupid and thought being in band would be cool. Since we were the only three sax players, we teamed up and started slowly getting close and becoming friends. We shared a common interest that year, and in 7th grade as well...A burning hate for Mr. Sturms. That made the years fun too. She's my official movie buddy. She's the one that started getting me to go to the movies on Friday's in the first place. She's very trustworthy. I know that she can hold my secrets, whatever they may be. And you can never really be sad when you're around her. It sucks that she's going to a different school this year. But hopefully that won't interfere with our outside activities. Laura is a very very good friend
Sierra Leigh Ledgerwood:
I barely talked to Sierra at the beginning of this year. And then all of a sudden, we started hanging out almost every other day. It's crazy. I've known Sierra for awhile. Can't really say an exact grade, but it was a long time ago when we met. And we friends off and on for almost 5 years. We were even considered two of the "best singers in the school" and got to get out of school to go eat pizza and sing songs about a green tree frog. I never really was big into riding my bike when I moved to this new house. But Sierra changed all that. I rode my boke with her and her friends majority of the summer. I love how crazy I get when I'm with her, trying to jump over thing, putting on loads of make up, and taking over six hundred pictures at a time. She brings the animal out in me, and that's my fun side. I love her for that
Lana Elaine Fisher:
I am saying this directly to you Lana. You and I have been through more than anyone else I know. Up and down, mostly down lately, but before, it was up. I miss the days I would come to your house and we would stay up all hours of the night copying Ryan Ross's makeup while planning our trip to Las Vegas. I miss just spending time with you afterschool. I know that those days are over and they're never coming back. And what hurts the most is that it's my fault. And things now probably won't be the same. But I want to get them to be as close a possible. And I really wanna be good friends with you again. I hope one day we can become close like we were in the good ol' days.
Everyone that I just listed has changed my life in ways that I can't even explain. They make me who I am. And they are the best in the world. I don't know what I would do without them, and I'm sure if they weren't in my life, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. They are, truly heroes. I love each and everyone of them so much.
From a very young age, I have not been what people call normal. I found interests in things many people would find strange, and I think that is what has shaped me into the person I am now. I like classical music, yet Panic! At The Disco is my favorite band. And yeah, I like rap too. I even like music that's in a completely different language other than spanish. I am fascinated by the human body and I hope to one day become a very successful surgeon. I like blood, and how the body works. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. I plan ahead in life. I know who I want to live with, how I want to live, Where I want to live, and most importantly, how I'm gonna be able to do all of that. Before middle school, I did not stay in one school for more than two years due to all the constant moving I had to go through because of my parents's problems. We finally found a solid house we could call our own. But, we lost it. We moved again to the house we're in now. I hate it here. Not sure why, but this house causes nothing but problems.
I've noticed that, I have not made bright desicions. I did things I said I would never do. And I hurt a lot of people in the process, one in paticular, and I know that I cannot take it back. But many don't realize I have been hurt as well. I don't have a trustworthy family. Parent's have betrayed me. So have my friends. Things, I cannot forgive. And I never know what to do with all that I feel. So I make stupid choices. I have to say to everyone who reads this that knows me that I am sorry. I never meant to get you involved in the ways that you did. To the people I talked to directly, I only told you because I needed someone to talk to, but it extended to so much more than that, and once again I am sorry.
It's not all that's going on with me right now, but it's all that you need to know. Thanks for reading :]
What's the worst that I could say
Things are better if I stay
So long and good night
So long and good night
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touched
dirty
pissed off
depressed
confused